Coquette: “Touring Fatties!”

30 09 2008

Help us launch our first-ever tour!

In June of 2009, Big Moves Boston will launch its first ever six-Fringe, nine-city tour with an all new, two-woman show: Wide Load. But we can’t do it alone! We need help raising $4000 for the Fringe Festival entrance fees. We’re looking to collect $10 from 400 people…ten little dollars to help a big, BIG tour! If you like what you see, please donate!!

Nellie: “Reach Out and Retouch Someone”

15 09 2008

This morning, Coquette pointed me toward this article on Jezebel about the new 90210, and how the new cast is shockingly thin compared to the old cast.

Now, I’m all for size diversity. I’m a fatty, yes, but I’m not one to throw insults at or harbor any ill feelings toward skinny women, and I’m a firm believer that size-acceptance should apply to everyone. But when you compare the photos of the original 90210 series cast to that of the new series, it’s more than a little disturbing.

The new female cast members make Jennie Garth, Shannen Doherty, and those other two look downright voluptuous. Considering we know that our favorite West Beverly High Schoolers were offered as perfect specimens the 90s beauty standard, and were therefore quite thin, the obvious shift in the beauty ideal over the last 15 years is truly astounding. What exactly will the standard be like 15 years from now? Will there be a backlash (yes, please?), or will Hollywood continue to shove ever-thinner and ever-more-airbrushed women into the spotlight until the “beauty ideal” is literally unattainable by anyone?

And is that so far off? When you take advances in retouching software and its widespread use in the publishing world into account, it matters very little what the original photo looks like. For example, check out another Jezebel article about the recent Redbook/Faith Hill debacle, in which the editors had poor Faith Photoshopped within an inch of her life in order to make her look younger and thinner. All of this for a picture that was already beautiful.    

So getting back to 90210, just think – even the very tiny new cast members’ photos have been airbrushed, which makes me think about all the young girls out there who are constantly beating themselves up because they don’t look like AnnaLynne McCord. This prompts me to fly into a rage coma, because even AnnaLynne McCord doesn’t look like AnnaLynne McCord. And then I become very concerned, or possibly vaguely horrified, about where things are headed.

Marina: “Queen For A Day 2”

4 09 2008

(September 4, 2008 – Boston)

In Boston, Big Moves does two big shows a year, spring and fall. We take over a decent-sized theater (the Cambridge Family YMCA Theatre is our unofficial home), we knock out the crazy lights, put out the sandwich boards, and throw a full out production. But there’s a lot of energy left bouncing around in the company, and when that stuff is just boiling over… we put on a bar show: low-budget, high-volume, full-out rock style.

Our second annual Queen for a Day show was a perfect example of the breed. The gimmick? All Queen music. Big Moves’ burlesque project Thick represented with animatronic sex dolls and a socially inept geek getting down to Body Language, while our Caravan of Curves bellydancers Alhena and Alizah Afet tore up the stage to Mustapha, and a sword-and-plaid swirl of hotness set to Princes of the Universe. Guest artists Babes in Boinkland and Johnny Blazes gave us additional burlesque hotness (thank you, Johnny, I will never look at Olympic gymnastics the same way again), and our favorite fat Asian drag queen Becca d’Bus stunned us all with her usual glam-trash handling of the crowd (“yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is the last Queen for a Day… of the Bush administration!”).

Our favorite all-girl Queen tribute band, Gunpowder Gelatine, slammed out the second half of the show in their usual inimitable magnetic style; by the last two songs, the crowd was pressed up against the stage at Church nightclub, singing and bouncing along. Birthday cupcakes at midnight, of course, and shots were shared around, and folks, that boat was well and fully launched. If you’re in the Boston area, mark your calendar for September 5, 2009, because there’s no question that Queen for a Day is now an official Big Moves holiday.

Coquette: “I Am A Ballerina Sometimes”

3 09 2008

So I needed some dance tights. And then there was a sale at And…well…

(No comments on how I need to windex my mirror. It ALWAYS looks like that, no matter how much I clean it. It vexes me.) So since it was uh, non-ideal, I tried using my other mirror:


I am throwing so much ‘tude, it’s unstoppable:

I tried covering the flash with my finger, because I couldn’t figure out how to turn it off. Instead…GLOWING. FINGER. OF. DOOM.

It will destroy you.

Then I figured it was time to take some slutty MySpace profile photos of myself, but I looked so angry!

And then I messed something up and accidentally caught my “whoops, nerdo idiot self” face on camera:

And THEN, Teddy (A KAT I OWNZ) tried to climb up my skirt and chew on the ties of it. While it was on me. And I ended up with this, the greatest photo I or anyone else have ever taken: